Not the exact words, but close enough! Lol
00:00:05 – 00:05:00
Whoa the Privacy Sport podcasts. The a real life. It’s clever narratives. Original quotes and creative use of satire order to the audience from negative paradigm put persons brought. This is by no means to them or best is but instead encourages showcase a different. It might not be before. Psa designed to showcase to listen to the power of the mind is not a joke and if a personal control your mind and thought they will also be control their luck. This podcast serves entertainment. Educational purposes only not replaced or other types of professional hills audience. You know the main one we are human out. Even when I was in school like people were were saying like you know why would I pay therapists or pay? Pay another human being to tell me something when they’re like and you know. I’ve been hearing through the grapevine and do like little shave my way saying immunotherapy while you’re doing a podcast like this. Well I was. We’ve been taught in trained and and I do try to do this in my practice. Not to necessarily agree or disagree because before we get started what today’s episode. We have to give a shout out to a few sponsors shouted to the sponsor. Today’s episode CANNOT BE FAMOUS DOT COM a website. That will teach you the steps and give you the keys to becoming a biggest influence in your life to the next level. You will become an online superstar. I having to sell your soul or by fake followers and take your business or brand to eleven supersedes what you could have ever imagined start. Your Business at the website cannot be famous dot com all lower case or hit of Country Cowboy instagram. For more information. Our are welcome back. Yeah we are in the third part of the midst of Wealth Series. The first parts when great. I love that engage in the feedback. I with destiny when we talked about network in the second woman aboard buyer. We talked about mental health and Athletes go through firsthand. Today is kind of following suit of last week’s let me go. I with the title so today’s title was Cau- Mental Health Awareness. Their addition the main wreath. Tae Time out to pray for all the therapists out today. They deal with other people’s demon while dealing with their own. This ratio comes from obviously knows. Mental Health Awareness Muscle. We keeping the ball rolling with that and doing just some different. Especially you know therapist. I know a lot of them and then therapy. That’s going on and a quote that I found that I really like I said our wounds are often the openness into the best and most beautiful parts of so for anybody that might be going through something to feel like you know or even chastise criticized even rejected for something that you know you do of course by killing people don’t some you know that’s not okay but you know like if you going through something or something like that is typically the door to something. That’s even better. So of course. It circumstantial for all right so I have a guest today. So introduce your name who you are where you from and Candice Candice Pitner. I am a licensed professional counselor in Houston Texas. I’m from Chicago. That’s where I call home. No shots lot die. I work in a maximum security prison as a mental health. Therapist there for inmates in the psychiatric hospital And I have a private practice of my own and I do free group therapy around the community of Houston so yeah. I’m just a therapist through okay. I see so Chicago safe from Saint Louis. So when did you move out here? I’m a guy here actually may yes. This may is GonNa make six years. I came out here. My mom lived out here and I came here for Graduate School at University. Houston Goku yes for six years now over. Okay so you were doing. You haven’t been out here for the long enough the battle right point where you know you get what you. I don’t know. Yeah I’ve been for eight years. Okay still eighteen right okay all right so now when you hear the word mental health what comes to mind. We’ll come some. I want to hear the word mental health. What comes to mind is me wanting to describe the difference? Not Everybody has a mental illness but everybody has mental help to and I think that that’s one of the most simple ways to break the stigma.
00:05:00 – 00:10:01
You know what I’m saying because especially in in our beautiful black community and a lot of minority communities people like to think that. Oh I have nothing wrong therapies. Not For me and I don’t need to do the self care stuff. And I don’t mean to learn this. And that and unlearn these patterns and relearn these patterns and so forth. Because I don’t have a mental illness you might very well be right. You don’t have a mental illness which is great but everybody has mental health. If you have a brain and it’s not in a vegetative state hell no okay we Louis honestly here is when you hear. The word awareness will come to mind. Awareness means breaking the statement of letting people know that this is real lend. You know that yes. You do have mental health regardless of if it’s you know positive not so positive. We all have areas to grow. I don’t like to say weaknesses. I like say strength and areas of limitations or areas of improvement areas of growth. I like to use that type of language but yeah speaking of language awareness getting that language out they let people know you need to be aware of this because whether you’re black white rich poor short taw five years old fit deny years. It doesn’t matter you have a mental health and you want to be healing from whatever you know. Damaged that mental health with all of us are going to go through damaging thing as there’s some point game okay so now two more is we were therapy. We’ll come to mind. I love it. Love Okay so when you heard the word council that will come to mind. Counselor me not necessarily beneficial. Yeah very necessary and beneficial for all people even when you’re happy you want to maintain that happiness so when I hear they’re being council I don’t typically separate like I know by definition there’s minor differences therapist typically have a specific license in counselors have a specific license. But people call me. Counselor people calling me a therapist. I say that I dare say that. I do counseling. So those things kind of happened simultaneously but The first words that pop into my head honestly just beneficial and necessary for all four off a for our so I want. To debunk a few theories. Because you know as you continue to grow your brain you know. There’s always a hated. That’s anything and you know. I’ve been here through the grapevine and through little shame my way saying that you’re not a therapist while you’re doing a plaque as like this. Well first of all I never said that I was in my intro. This is not a replacement to professional health right so as I stated many times the number keeps saying. I’m just somebody who’s been through the stuff around different. Things went to therapy at one point just for the conversation just to be open a different perspectives. Right so I never said I was a therapist now and I have another friend that I told her to WHO. He’s there because he was like but you don’t come off like trying to be there you making the face like you don’t do that so I’m confused as to why people to say that about me like right. Maybe it was because I say things kind of harsh boone. I don’t know yeah I mean people are afraid people are definitely afraid in. I would not everybody. I’M NOT GONNA say everybody’s afraid but a lot of people just have their own stigma surrounding things and at a point in time. I was not a mental health professional. I didn’t have my license. Obviously you know when I was in school when I was in high school stuff. But I’ve always been able. I’ve always been interested in mental always loved the brain of always more than eleven Nebraska. Actually love people. I love doing people work. I love helping people and then I realized okay. I LOVE THE BRAND. I love people. Let me combine that. I love listening to people. I love helping people being there for people and I love providing a platform and honestly you are providing a platform and we need people who are not just there. Because if it’s just in the circle everything stays in the circle. It’s not going to get out there. We need people to bridge the gap people who are in business with WHO care about mental health and they want to do a podcast to do a blogger of long and have a mental a mental health therapist on it. We need mental health advocate. Who didn’t go to school for their in school for something else. Like destiny she. She’s in videography acting. Cinematography graphic design all of those things. She’s really creative like that. But she’s a mental health advocate. And so we need people who bridge that gap. We need doctors. Who Bridge that gap. We need nurses Hooper’s we need actors. Who Bridge that gap. We started out for whatever it is that you do. And there’s nothing wrong with breaking the get just because you haven’t gone and studied there in an academic setting. That doesn’t mean that you don’t have your own experience and that doesn’t mean that you have not done research that other people may not have wanted to do but they still need to know that that information. That’s you’re willing to give so no. You’re not trying to be a therapist but who wants to listen to somebody. Speak with all these therapeutic words all the time about something sometimes we just need that real their raw but from your own perspective in your own experience. There’s somebody like you. Yeah Yeah I mean yeah.
00:10:01 – 00:15:01
I knew the formal but I also have the personality where I’m GonNa keep it real and raw and I’m not going to say a whole lot of you know huge therapy words. I know of them I write them in my clinical documentation and I get of long accolades. Orion goes I get lots of Anglians for that but you know became real raw because ultimately I want the community. I don’t want a small group of people who understand what I’m saying. I want the entire community entire siding entire world. Understand what we’re sending exactly so that’s just so just real quick. What are some comments? Thank you might hit them. All release about your professional people. Try to come at you with black. People don’t go to therapy therapist or counselor you need. Jesus go to your pastor in for counseling if you need it I mean people specifically for me. People told me you know that are thought that I can’t be this professional therapist because I am so real enrolled like on social media on me. I don’t understand you know what the knowledge in my brain has to do with you. Know the pictures that I show you but yeah I mean you know majority of o one of the things that actually my mommy used to say this so when I was growing up and becoming a Davis I was a little nervous because I thought all older people like these but a lot of black people think like this like not a lot but a few older blogging for older people in general. Think that okay. No you just got out of college you young. What you tell me about life. I used to be so scared and I walked in when I was in graduate school. One of our professors debunked. That forest are professor. Who had been in the field for a long longtime debunked that forest and was like you know you might have experienced that but just know the majority of people you’re going to get clients even when you’re fresh out of school you’re going to get clients you’re gonNA patients you’re GonNa have people who will listen to what she said because they don’t care how old you are. They care what you have a degree a license like. I don’t care. Tell me. Help me guide me. Leave me assist me. You know what I’m saying. So that was one of the things that I want to debunk. It doesn’t matter how it doesn’t matter who you are. It doesn’t matter what she looked like. Like if you have that experience you have that that that academic training and professional training. That’s what’s necessary and you need Jesus and there is because if you get cancer you think Jesus is going to be like now. Don’t go to know oncologist. Just pray to me. He’s GonNa say pray to me and allow me to lead you and guide you to the college did you go to. That’s what he’s going to do with a mental health professional. Pray to me about your depression anxiety or just about your general and then I’m GonNa lead you and guide you to the right there. Exactly my thing is that of course. There are signs in one. We believe there. He definitely has he’ll people Moroccans Iraqis. Right the same time. It’s not everybody store right so you can do both I just and I’m glad I’m so happy she here today because if you see her what you’re to see her page on our tag or she’s not the typical if she tells you she was you’d be like you wouldn’t even know what she’d be. You right have some whatever all I. So I defy therapy which is pretty much stated but the you know the professional treatment attendance. A relief he’ll a disorder and says counselors the person trains to give guidance on personal social or psychological problems. Okay so pretty. Simple pretty much stuff you say now. I got some statistics interesting. It says Dr Add was himself practicing as clinical hypo therapists mentioned that Seventy percent of all psychiatric suffer from some mental illness themselves even after years of practice and then it says according to existing research eighty one percent of psychologists in psychiatric suffer from mental illness. So when you hear those numbers of this sounds about right It it’s higher but it’s not like super surprising. It’s higher than I thought he. It’s not very surprising. Yeah because I was thinking these people go through stuff to who listen to right exactly and a lot of them. Honestly when I recommend everybody like people. I know who I can’t do therapy before because I know you. I always recommend you know if they’re saying that they are is below weary a we are near there. Because I’m I love being a client. I absolutely love sitting on the opposite side of that count and I mean in graduate school one of the very first thing on my first day of my first year of my first semester graduate school. My first professor told me get it there. That’s how she started her class. Get EIGHT THERAPIST. You need to. Because at the end of the day we’re not robots. We’re not we’re not machines that can just intake output easily like we are the same type of machine physical machine which has a lot of you know there’s a lot of complexities to it. And so we’re not just a machine or a computer where you can say type Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah and then print out something and you have to really do much to it.
00:15:01 – 00:20:01
We need are consistent and constant tune-ups just like other people do a lot of people don’t don’t do that. They end up with with a mental illness or some people hadn’t illness themselves and like when I was in graduate. School a couple of people in my cohort did have onus themselves bipolar disorder schizophrenia depression so on and so forth and that was what led them. That was the catalyst to them going to Grad school and becoming a therapist year. Definitely because when I went Will Use a two thousand sixteen so when I first started going to. That’s what I really started getting interested in it. Yeah because it was somebody else they were saying and they’re not their position was like to thank God. Because you the way you are and it was one thing you could change that to change everything so it was Dr semi trump someone. I heard that I was thinking okay. You know because a lot of stuff that we go through is kind of the way we think about even with the podcast because people just think mental health. You know back. Don’t let me know he was just thinking. Depression anxiety. Rental health is high thing. He’s though it we hear all talking about our perspectives on stuff. It’s still mid state is not always and like she said early which I like. Midst of always negative sometimes just five. We just haven’t dialogue. Look at stuff like this. I look at it like that. You know so you own this side. You see a six zero nine. Don’t mean you wrong right. It just mean it’s just a different you know. Let me say something because I love that point that you brought up. It’s the way that you think in the way that you think can lead to your mental. So let’s say I’m on this side. You see I see in your on this nine but that nine has been a little damaging to your relationships the way that you see that nine. It’s been damaging to your relationships or if I need six oranges but you saw nine and you bring nine this too much right so what we wanna do is and sometimes seeing that six in nine from a different perspective is just fine but if you realize that okay. I needed to see that that that six and not that night and now it’s detrimental to me. You know what I’m saying in in those dialogues and in those comments you realize like okay. I’m GONNA have full blown diagnosed with depression or anxiety or the millions of other mental health disorders. But I need to start seeing this as more of a seeks rather than an because now seeing this is detrimental to me. You know what I’m saying. And so that way that I think I might need to revamp that. I might need to unlearn that. Because it’s been a little harmful to me. You know what I’m saying you so I love. You brought that analogy. I love using analogies when it comes to their because that’s one of the best ways to simplify things to the point where people ’cause all these mental health whereas they might not get. It might be a little scary. Might be overwhelming. Might not sound like something that you’re going through. But if used regularly or regular analogies I sports a lot in my analogies when I’m trying to help people understand what they’re thinking and what they’re going through this thing work. No teachers have to know how to simplify stuff like that. They get it right if you teach their strategy but you related to you know drake right or understand. Tennis upside down. It’s nine now. I’m sorry we own alright. So this a call we moving on it says that it was from Meka. Who’s a psychologist for many years that I cannot stress enough? Mental illness is not a problem. The problem is unwilling to work on it. The lack of arrived to overcome excuses in colleges nature of using its dugout of responsibility for one’s own actions did episode season. Two and people always try to say oh positive vibes. Only when you say Sunday I wanna hear and coming soon. We got a project. That’s kind of following suit that all right so now. Can you just photo word explain a day in the life of Kansas Therapist? Like how would just wake up? What you do I like. How do you go to work? Like what are you? Well let me think prior to these two months. ’cause of course everything has changed so okay. I wake up. I love doing makeup so for me getting ready and what looks presentable to me. I have my makeup in my hair. Done a certain way my scared to not wear makeup absolutely not be no makeup on weekends all the time but yes I wake up. Do My make up get up pretty early like I said I work in a maximum security psychiatric hospital within a prison so I deal with the inmates all around Texas who are dealing with any mental health issues so go to work before Corona. We used to do group therapy and individual therapy. So I do that then. I’ll write my notes and then like I said I have a private practice so then I always have a client after work and just quick tidbit. You Know I. This is how I know that it’s my my purpose from God because you would think that that’s a lie and really like on the surface right down the yellow paper. It looks like a lot like okay. You’re in a psychiatric hospital for nine hours a day and then you come home and you still have clients but I get this supernatural piece. The supernatural energy due to a very supernatural enthusiasm.
00:20:01 – 00:25:14
That only comes from God. You know what I’m saying. Jesus living right inside of me. I and he gives me all of the energy that I need and so I’m able to clients and then after I see my class I work out. Cook will My something but in our workout are cook and then do my Bible study. And when Coronas not here I mean some sort of church activity like three to four times I have choir rehearsal one day than I have a midweek service the next day than I have Bible study the next day and then of course on Sunday. I’ve heard so that’s what my typical life looks like. And then on the weekends I do their free group therapy Over the last year I’ve gotten so many podcasts. Invitations event. Invitations conference invitations. So I speak at a lot of those things on the weekends as well. So that’s the typical more so week than day in my life. You know I made a host of the weekend a young. This is the person so I said nays out work me because I’m always outside. You know him yeah. I take a lot of business China like I look at it. Like in kick not always being drug. This is laying out the house right so for me. I like how I look like a reward like okay. I don’t WanNa go somewhere three before the and I’m GonNa do this this this and then I’m going have time so it was a common may make several comments made by me in general About how I? Oh you always did it. I said but nobody worked me right. So you outworked me so I’ll give you back. I think we were on the same level. You working at the C. Worked with the prisoners. Now yes it’s advert is for you so okay so it’s a corner bustle there. Ten thanks therapist. Wish you understand about what do nice ten. But I don’t have time faulty. I want most Okay so let’s say they won’t call crazy we share. It says they won’t talk about you at Brunch we share. We’re not allowed to. We can legally go to jail for that. You can’t shock them. You shall came especially because a lot of them especially me up where it says that talking is not the only thing about what you need to do right now. We do a lot more than talking. Mcgee Lil I don’t call it homework. I call a self care work okay. The Not those They’re tired of you’ve Lamy your parents. I’ll say I’m and you blame your parents because we are doing but I’m I’m excited to help you to start taking responsibility at your age or okay. This is the last one assistant. Jolla human too. Which is the main one. We are human. Even when I was in school like people were were saying like you know why would I pay their peers or pay? Pay another human being to tell me something where when their life is not even together and I mean like even friends like close friends close loved ones. Family members have said that. And I’m like well I mean I know plenty of doctors who tell you not to smoke. And then they’re out there smoking cigarettes. A doctor cannot operate on themselves they will have to go to another doctor and that other doctor is a human being who might not get out there and run as much as I need to exercise unless they need to eat healthily as they need to. You still don’t take your behind of their own college staffer bid or that you know pediatrician. And then you know what? I’m saying that that primary care physician. You’re still going to do it regardless of what they’re doing in their life so yeah we don’t have matter there’s this psychology means and that’s one of the main thing that she posted about like it’s comical when people think that we have our together we want to help you get your together because we see what it’s like to not have your life together and we see what it’s like to also get on your healing journey and get your life together and you know what I’m saying so that’s why we want to help. You don’t want to go to somebody who has been silver spoon. Fed a never had. Nothing happened to them. The KARDASHIAN people. They didn’t have everything since birth. You don’t WanNa go to somebody who is who is at everything bird you WanNa go to. Somebody who is experienced trauma reason being is because one of my favorite things. It’s helped boys not talking to people from a place of healing. I don’t want to make sure that I don’t talk to my clients. My patients even my love with from a place of healing. I want you to know that what I’m saying to you. I’m going to be able to relate it to where you are right now instead of talk to you from a place of healing and trying to drag you up to where I am. I’m going to get down in the trenches where you may be at that moment and I’m going to help you in assist you in guide you instead of dragging up all all. Come on and anytime that you regress. Now I’m getting pissed off. No you don’t WanNA therapists like that. You WanNA therapist. Who’s been through the mud and don’t together anything because that’s the that’s the best to meet. It is the best testimony. Somebody been through something so they can tell you what it’s like to get through with versus somebody ain’t never been through so now we’re the next hour so now you made it. You have a therapist. You’ve did say that his days where you is very rare but you have your days where you just not feel it but it’s very rare especially going through all stuff right This one I thought this is a good one which you might have kind of answered it kind of gives you a new outlook on it says.
00:25:14 – 00:30:05
Do you feel like you have to push for your clients. But you’ve said not really because you always kind of witted. You always remember these. Yeah on the days where I have things that are like. I have a dark cloud and it’s like a raining dark like sometimes it’s just cloudy and you can push in. It’s okay but I mean like I said on human. I don’t have it all together so on my days where I’m going through my own issues and my own you know my traumas and relearning healthy behaviors and I’m trying to focus on that on those days or those weeks or even those month. Yeah those days where I feel like okay. This cloud is directly over me. It’s raining directly on me and I’m still trying to hold an umbrella for my client or patient so yeah I mean it is rare now because of where am in my healing journey but when I first got into therapy and which was at the same time that I was answering my healing journey. Oh Yeah I had to push seru especially if they bring me like stories and things that I’m going to do right in there and like that that cloud that’s raining on me. There they have the same clout and so I have nothing but the reason for me. Personally I can’t speak for everybody but the reason why that doesn’t exhaust me even when I do have those as or discourage me even when I do have those days is because with this gifting and purpose that I do from God it. It helps me to be able to help that person. It helps me to help my. It helps me myself to help myself when I am able to help that person so it’s not so much like a discouraging pushing through as a encouraging pushing through if that makes sense no disney mixes are so some more tidbits a secrets. Your therapist won’t tell you this is from John. Brokaw interest says that honestly. They don’t know if they can help you. Oh we now we have to. That’s why we always have recommendations in resources on hand because not everything is going to Mesh with every client. You know what I’m saying and that was something that I had to get into my head because I wanted so badly to mess with every client because everybody that meeting my personal life I just Mesh with so I always want to mess with every client and every patient but now. We don’t know if we’re going to be able to help you. Because we all have different specialties. We all have you know have knowledge in one area and maybe not other areas of come to us and we don’t have as much now in that area. Don’t get discouraged. We have plenty of resources and we’re honest with ourselves and our biases we might have some biases that make it so that it’s really difficult for us to work with you as much as we try to put up is the way we’re not a machine where human so we don’t know when you first come to us. We are both figuring out if we are going to be able to have a good therapeutic report run. It says that I’m not your friend but I want you to open up anyway. Yes but you’re gonNA open up deeper in a free to me because I know how to actually help. I’m not just going to sit back and say Greg. And where’d you just trip me? I’m not gonNa tell you all know that my favorite wild is crazy. Wow that’s what you Dane. S crazy is I will give you a diagnosis whether he wanted to. Not because your insurance forced me to doing okay now going to be like me breakfast. I don’t take insurance but I keep my prices. My service cost very very low. So I don’t have to give you diagnose you can ask any of my clients which clearly you don’t know who they are but if you were to ever go out of mind you know what I’m saying. They’re probably going to tell you. I don’t have a diagnosis because not everybody has a mental illness diagnosis but everybody has mental health. But if you’re doing insurance we have to give you a diagnosis. That’s the only reason they would probably like being more funny on that one. Yeah number just the two more so one of a brush pass because you can’t already answered it says that you hate long hours in Clarence often slow progress in difficulty being understood as a profession. But you kind of already stated that you like now that said this is probably going to her but I may not tell you that up front now not you because you say oh honestly ethically like. I said. They’re probably being more funny on that. I do like that but ethically were in the informed consent. Like the papers that you sign when you’re entering into the therapeutic relationship in the informed consent. We’re supposed to now. It wasn’t always like this which is still kind of fresh but an informed consent. You’re supposed to speak about that as well as reading in that. That CONTRACT CONTRACT. It’s supposed to tell you that you may get better. Agassi’s me you may get worse before you better. We’re supposed to warn you of that now like I said that’s that’s not as familiar because fairly new but I’m glad that they they make us do that.
00:30:05 – 00:35:04
Ethically now because it is ethically better in beneficial to let somebody know and I tell all my people like you may give not everybody. Some people are more linear progress. But some people’s most people’s progress is not very linear and a lot of times because you are opening up in unlearn ing some wounds that you have suppressed and put a band-aid on for so long. We know if you keep abandoned on for more than a day. That thing hurts when you take it out if you off at the right time and you properly. He’ll it doesn’t hurt as much but what we do with our mental health. Is we put a band aid on? We leave it on for years and so we have to rip that band off what she ripped and off you clean out that Wu and you patch it up the right way. Put a slant on it or ask or antibiotics or whatever you do. Does it not heal better? You have less of scar versus if he just keep putting a band aid on right definitely had like you could say because you kind of remind me of the episode. Did a few weeks ago. Shake the room because it’s high those people with these like ourselves with these big personality. Yeah yeah yeah for everybody right right but one thing to send you a miserable declined. I liked it because I went to my we just was cold. She laid back so we was different but it was just. We vowed he had said people like that. Deal with people like the opposite attract kind of thing so share I. Most of my friends are introverted. One hundred percent extra. You need one. Oh Yeah Oh yeah to war scenario my college student. You know college students. We both scholars graduates so we gotta get tips. Y’All so again. Kinda just going up but we said earlier people to remember that you know utilize yours. I keep telling you like you see. She does a free group therapy in the Houston area and really a lot of these. Schools are no Texas southern. Acc offer free therapy. Yes they do. So take advantage of Definitely so and then the other one I wanNA say. Do you have any tips for anyone that may say I want to be a therapist with. What would you be tips? I want to be a therapist. Yes College yet. A get a mentor. Because I did a lot of figuring things out on my own I moved. I did a partially my on me because I didn’t seek it like one moments. I have quite a few minutes. He’s but one of my mentors. She sought me out because she was going to university. Houston but she was still at University of Texas the main campus in Austin and where she saw me out and get a mentor and it doesn’t have to be like the most formal relationships like I probably have won t where we have a very formal relationship with the rest of my mentioned. We are sisters we are friends. I’m not much older than than people. I’m not far removed. Get you somebody who has recently been through that so they haven’t fresh in their mind and they can help you out like it is difficult and if somebody can help you even to tell you so you don’t have to do so much research on what to have to get into Grad school. What to have to get your light. Your temporary license was out to get your license. Your Supervisor Vision. You broke your shows all of that. Get somebody that can help you because if you just see if you researchers yourself and see all that you have to do it can be overwhelming. But if you know somebody who just went through it. You know what I’m saying like I’m going to help you to know. It’s not as overwhelming as goodstuff electric our so finally off with gametime and Orissa days gave is going to be titled comments that they’re said all right. It’s kind of a simple game. You say you’re going to tell me whether or not that this is okay to say for their today. Client Okay so you have the comments of it. Just let me know I got. You are the first one really a Chino. Everything’s GonNa be okay. No we don’t because we all know when it’s going to be okay all right. You could have handled that bit absolutely not that is the opposite of unconditional positive regard. We want to give you unconditional positive regard so. We don’t say that but not in that vernacular. We don’t tell you that but it’s not going to be an because the way that we receive words can be the difference between being defensive about it are being receptive to okay. This is gonNA take some time. But we’re GONNA FIGURE IT OUT. Ding Ding Ding. I agree with what you did there. I like that. That’s okay. I’m not going to give it a Ding. Ding Ding or an aunt. That’s okay because I mean we’re humans so we might say like. I agree with that and stuff like that. We’ve been taught and trained and I do try to do this in my my practice not to necessarily agree or disagree because like we said like.
00:35:04 – 00:38:10
I said I am a human being me. Agreeing or disagreeing is based off. My own. Opinion is based on my own thoughts. My own my own values my own moral and I don’t want to impose my morals and values on you. I want you to think of some healthy positive more value for yourself so I might not say I agree but I might be. I might challenge it. I’m saying a challenger not challenge if I don’t challenge it that’s kind of like a green. Do Challenge it. That’s kind of disagree but I’m not going to like flat out. Say Oh girl or a boy and I agree with that because that’s not being and that’s my values so that’s on the line. The the one I like this. Why would you do that absolutely? We don’t know what one of my favorite things I do. This in my personal I do not like. I’m really trying to get away from why but it’s so normalized but I’m trying to get away from why because why typically as a negative connotation as far as like if you say why did you that. That means you shouldn’t have done that. There’s a better way to do. Its own software so that can make somebody shut down even if you don’t completely one hundred percents now so the better question is what. What made you do their cost you to do that. Or what was it that you were thinking when you did that to the last one? What was the outcome of decision? The Bom opening the question me rock on every block all right all right so yeah so today’s question. The challenge is actually one of my longer ones. It says having been therapy Me How it works if you have it would you go and then the challenges I want you to reach therapists notes that Because I’m sure you follow on at least one yes reach Just ask them. Hey easy from. Psa podcast this child. Don’t know him but I’m sure you know somebody just say housing. During the day again allowed the end about half me okay. Shingle troop. I’m not all right so I wanNA thank home candidates for coming down today every she was just probably going to. Oh I’m so happy I appreciate and thank you so much for for even considering me because I’m not the end all be all not a note. I’m not this that and the other. I am a human being who enjoys compensation like this and I know that there’s a lot of people that you can choose and so I’m just honored in the most humble and appreciative way. I I’m happy that you but you have to come back. Because this was legal or ideas they signed in hours middle keeping it at Nigger Rivoli